I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
