I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
don't judge my taste in strippers
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
