At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
