I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
