New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
