I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
