she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Iām going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
