just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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