I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
