whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
