well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
