Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize