I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You've changed since you got that strap on
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
