She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
A bitchslap is in order.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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