i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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