There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
