and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
