why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm really busy with my period
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