Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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