Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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