i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
