its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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