I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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