I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
