like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
