Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
