Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize