Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
