I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
