Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
