I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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