guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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