so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
