i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
