And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
How does it feel to date your dad?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
