toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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