just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
