I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize