hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
