I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
