dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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