did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
