I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
