Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
