have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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