Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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