i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
