You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Four minutes until I can fart!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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