Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
