Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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