If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize