who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
