I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize