Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
