positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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