i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
