Four minutes until I can fart!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
