2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
