so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
