My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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