dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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