i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
