I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Pappa wants mamma naked
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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