Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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