Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
