Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
