who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
