In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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