you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
she told me i tasted like america
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
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