he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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