It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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