Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize