I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
