never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
