Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
