They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
this is an emotional support booty call
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
