Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
